Image via Wikipedia
Adolescent years are not easy, on the teenager or their parents. It’s a time of rapid change both physically and mentally, and the pressure of who they want to be versus who others think they should be certainly takes it’s toll. Some teenagers don’t know how to cope, and most don’t feel comfortable confiding in their parents about the issues they’re facing. They feel they’re grown and deserve to be treated as an adult, so they’ll lash out or take measures (sometimes illegal) to prove that point. While it may be difficult to decipher normal behavior from troubling, there are differences to be noted that will help in deciding the best means of communication, or even treatment.
Talking Back: Parents get their first experience with this when the child is a toddler, refusing to eat certain vegetables or clean up their toys. Once a child grows into their teenage years, they become much more defiant and confident in their abilities of what they can and cannot do. If their best friend’s parents allow them to wear make up, go to the movies alone with a boy or stay out past 11:00, why can’t they? They may tell you they hate you, you’re not treating them fairly, or they wish you weren’t their parents. All of this is normal behavior, but should not be constant. If arguments progress to becoming a near daily occurrence, escalade to violence or increasing defiance and defensiveness these may be signs of a troubled teenager.
Mood Swings: We all have good days and bad, but for a teenager that feels the pressure of the real world sneaking up on them so quickly it can become overwhelming. One day they’re the most popular kid in school, the next they may feel as if they have no friends. While this is normal behavior, some things to watch out for are increased anxiety or sadness that lasts longer than a few days, or never going out with friends and being social.
Changes in Appearance: High School is a time when teenagers feel as if they need to figure out who they are, and their group of friends may seem to be constantly changing. Dyed hair, few piercings or different clothing is normal, as the adolescent is trying to fit in with whatever group they feel most comfortable with (or want to be in) at that time. Things to watch for and assess at your discretion are changes that seem extremely radical, excessive piercings paired with disturbing behavior, or extreme weight loss and change in eating habits.
Drugs and Alcohol: While no one wants their child experimenting, and most would automatically assume this topic to be all around troubling, teenagers will experiment. Most will have a few drinks socially, or even try marijuana. High School is all about fitting in, and if everyone is going to a party, or ‘everyone is doing it’, it is likely they’re going to try it as well. Alcohol and drugs are a slippery slope. If you start to notice things missing around the house, a decline in school performance or behavioral changes it could very well be that your teen has a drug or alcohol dependency, and the situation should be addressed immediately.
If you feel your teenager is showcasing some troubling behavior, there are teen and adolescent counseling centers that can help.
Short-Term Treatment Options:
Boot Camps: Boot Camps involve high intensity, military style discipline. Some are state run, and may be recommended if your child has had a run in with the law, while others are privately operated. Most run 2-6 weeks and are best suited for teens that have problems with violence or delinquency. There is no therapy or school work involved, and they average about $300 per day.
Wilderness Treatment Programs: Wilderness Treatment Programs run about 4-8 weeks, and include outdoor activities such as camping or hiking. Some do involve therapy, called Therapeutic Wilderness Programs, and are a good stepping stone before long-term treatment. There are usually no academics involved, and is best suited for adolescents with substance abuse, ADD/ADHD or Oppositional Defiant Behavior.
Long-Term Treatment Options:
Boarding Schools: Boarding schools are a year round treatment option for teens suffering from ADD/ADHD, substance abuse, weight problems, learning disabilities, or those that are runaways. They focus on character building and behavioral modification, and provide both educational programs and activities. Boarding schools are year round and cost between $2,000 and $7,500 per month.
Residential Treatment Centers: Residential Treatment Centers are both short and long term depending on the program. The long term programs are year round and involve educational programs, therapy and activities. Best suited for teens suffering from anxiety, eating disorders, depression, substance abuse, adoption issues or those that are suicidal. They have group activities that help teens learn how to cope with self esteem issues, and cost between $4,000 and $8,000 per month. Some are licensed by the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organization, which means you may get some benefits from your insurance carrier.
Remember that the physical and emotional changes at this stage in life are radical, and it may help to look back to how you felt at this age and the actions you took to cope with those feelings. There are options for how to help your teen through the transition from childhood to adulthood, but it’s important to recognize what communication or treatment options will be the most effective.
Sarai gives counseling in Houston she provides people with hope, help and healing.
